The One's...

Everyone talks about finding  "The One" or says he/she is the "One" for me. It got me thinking of how many "One's" does a person encounter before finding the "Last One?" So I wrote this:

To my one's, I leave no one out
And if I did its because even though you thought you were the first one
you probably were the second or third or fourth
makes you no less special just not a first one

There was the one
who was my first boyfriend
not the same as the one who gave me my first kiss
who is not the one who gave me my first french kiss
who is not the one that took me from a girl to what I thought was a woman
and he was definitely not my first love...but I liked him...maybe thought I loved him
looking back I didn't

My first love I still love, not in a I love you want to be with you kind of way, but a you were my first love so there is a special place in my heart for you kind of love

Back to the other one's
One Mexican guy I dated
and the One Malaysian guy
and the one first white guy

And the one who cheated on me
and the one I cheated with
And the one I still have a major crush on
And the one I can't stand to talk too, its so hard for me to be nice to you
And the one I let get away, that one I messed up
And the one that I think for real, why did I like you?
And the one I won't give a chance but I still can't figure out why because you really are a great guy
And the one that I should let go but haven't yet I know I really really should
And the one who won't return my calls
And the one I just met
And that other one I just met...

I'm sure there will be more one's
Thinking of my one's make me think about the two's which make me think about the three's
which makes me think is there a THE ONE for me???

I'm thankful for my experiences, good, bad, ugly, in between.

**Disclaimer: Just to clarify I date and have been dating since forever. Dating does not mean sleeping with a ton of different men. It means just that--DATING. I feel like I have to put that out there cause I know how some people think. Which your minds should stay out of the gutter!**

What's Really Goin' On?

Why is it that men just can't seem to figure out what they want?  I have landed in a situation with a younger man and I'm not quite sure where to go from here.  More than a year ago this guy and I started hanging out as friends and it quickly turned into spending most of our time together.  The relationship started to feel more than plutonic, so we had a conversation last September and decided not to put a label on things just yet.  So we mosied along just enjoying each others company.  During this time there is kissing, cuddling, pet names, gifts and even phone sex (not a friend activity in my book).  I'm still like ok.... I'm enjoying him, no need to press.  I will let him speak up if something has changed for him.  Besides, I'm not quite sure if I want a relationship with HIM at this point.  So I do some soul searching and decide to talk to him again last month.  It didn't go very well.  I was trying to explain that I am at a point where I want to be in a relationship again and that if he doesn't want that I can't continue to invest in this relationship as I have been.  We both left the conversation annoyed and ended up not talking for a week.  Now things seem to be slipping right back into what they were before.  We don't spend quite as much time together, but we behave the same.  My dilemma is whether to let things continue or just cut it off.  Although we have not had sex, I feel like we do everything else that a couple does.  So I can't help but fall into that mode of thinking sometimes and have to catch myself.  Isn't a year long enough for anyone to know which path they want to take with someone?  He is eight years younger than me, should I cut him some slack for not having it all figured out?  I really need some insight and perspective here....

Apart but still together...

I've seen several instances where a married couple separates, & one of the parties goes out and starts a new relationship, has a kid, etc. Am I incorrect in what I thought separation meant for married couples? I thought it was a time to work on the marriage while also giving some space, but still staying true to the marriage...

Did separation change? I'm lost, or at least not okay w/ how this new version of it works...

Am I Enough?

Not sure if you all saw the Single Ladies episode where Val's man asked her to spend the rest of her life w/ him without marriage. He was a "great catch"...sweet, adoring, stable, handsome, sincere, etc. and had been married 2 or 3 times in the past. He just wasn't willing to do it again. So he offered Val a lifetime commitment, just without the marriage and the ring.

Her friends criticized her for walking out on the offer, but from Val's perspective, how could she give up something she's dreamed of her whole life?

So I'm just wondering...if put in the same situation, would your man's love be enough if offered w/o any hope of marriage?