I'm not trying to bring the mood of the board down. I'm not. But over the last few days, I've been thinking and I've had to admit some hard truths to myself. I guess b/c a new year is approaching; I’m just taking stock of my life. I invite you all to share in this experience with me.
I admit that . . .
I can be cold blooded sometimes and sound heartless about some topics
I really resent my family sometimes. I love them but I sometimes wonder if I would have been better off with someone else
I procrastinate way too much
I’m having the hardest time getting my debt/credit together and I do NOT know where to start and this is causing me MAJOR stress lately
Forgiveness is really honorable, but I'm really not there in my life with some people who deserve to get their sh*t handed back to them on a platter
I don't know if I will ever truly be loved by a man. I wonder if a man will ever really truly be there for me. I wonder if a man will ever stay, instead of leave me.
I wonder if I'm still capable of love because every guy I go out with I just feel like "Yeah, whatever " I don't get excited about them, some I feel like I know their game, some I'm just not attracted to, etc.
As "go-getter" as I may appear in my career, ALL I truly want at this point is a man to truly love me, want to be with me, and raise a family with. I would trade in virtually every material thing I have for that love and support
It’s okay to have hurt feelings and admit them. It’s okay to cry and not fear that I am being too sensitive
Most of the time, for most of my life, I have felt disturbingly empty and alone. I fear this is something I will never overcome
I put on a strong front to get through the day-to-day, but inside, I'm really, really fragile. I reach my breaking point on at least a weekly basis
The lack of love I feel in my life has me on the edge of my breaking point on a very regular basis
2 comments:
Awww, we love you Trace! But I know what you are saying. Sometimes you can be around people, even family, and still not feel loved. Or that someone is always wanting from you and you're not even asked how your day is going. Just the simple shit like that.
But know, I love you girl, got ya back, and all of you are my family. I love all ya'll!!!!!!
Awwwm I know yall have my back regardless..and believe me, that's comforting b/c there are alot of people out there that will never have the opportunity to experience TRUE friendship...I feel blessed.
LOVE YALL!!!!
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