Ever so often I hear stories about this, but recently I've heard two cases of it happening, and wondered what you all think, or what would you do...
If a child you know (either a close friend's child, or a relative's child) has lost their parents and has no where else to go, and is about to be placed in foster care, would you take them in? Is it your concern?
I know none of us are rich, married, and some of us have children...but do we put this aside and step up to the plate? Are there stipulations on when this should be done (if the child comes from a stable environment, child has no disabilities, whether or not you are financially stable, etc.)?
I just wonder...as a mother, and as a friend. Like if something happened to me, and my daughter was facing foster care, would someone step up for her??? Or is my heart to big in thinking and saying that if one of my close friends or family members were gone, I would take their child???
Well for me, that's my personal statement: If something happens to one of y'all, and no family member steps up, please know I will fight to have your child(ren) come live with me...I will find a way to work it out...flat out. Then they'll have to go stay w/ Aunt Tamara or Pri in the summers cause their the ones making big bucks...lol... ;-)
Just wondering what y'all thought...
10 comments:
Wow Jay... this is deep!
I don't think I could let any of my friend's kids go to foster care. I would definently try to take them in and raise them as my own.
Upon reading this, i thought about my girl who did pass away and left her now 4 year old son. Luckily he has a great dad, but I know there would be a line of family and friends ready to take him in, should something happen.
Don't worry, between all of us... you know yours will be taken care of!
I would definitly take my friends and family members kids. If I could, I would get a child out of foster care right now. But when it comes to friends and family kids, there is no way I would let the child go to foster care, even if I was struggling. There are ways to make it and sometimes the state will give you some extra help, it may not be much extra but it may help you get the little things you couldn't get if you weren't that financially stable.
So don't worry, all ya'll kids would have a place to go if God forbid anything happened to any of ya'll. But Andi, I'm not taking that dog that you believe is your child! LOL
Mae, you're stupid!
I def would take someone's child in a heartbeat. My godmother did it for me...and Lord knows I wish someone would have done it for my brother. And like you said, I'd make it work financially whether I'd have to work 2-3 jobs. Its the right thing to do.
The other day my daughter came home w/ her school pics and was showing me her class pic. She commented that one girl was missing out of the pic, and that she thinks she didn't come to school that day b/c it was pic day. I asked why she thought that, and she said the little girl had told her that they don't have money for stuff like that, cause she lives in a foster home. The little girl said that she's lived in 5 foster homes. Her mom left them alone, and now the mom is in jail. Don't know all the details behind it...but I was damn near in tears...I wanted to bring the girl home myself...It's so sad...
We take stuff for granted sometimes...and simple stuff like pics on picture day, or a family, or one stable home really does mean so much...
Man...
Oh, Andi, Smokey can come stay w/ us...but u better train him now...or else he'll be a Pound Puppy! :-)
You really brought up a good topic. Alot of people don't understand the true definition of a god parent. If anything would happen to me I know for sure that my sister would take my childern and me the same. I know my children's father would all love to raise their own child however, I do not want my children to be seperated. So, I already have my wishes to want must be in the best interest of my children if anything (god forbids) happen to me. Not only do you have to see who will be in best interest of your child/ren you all so must be mindful of the insurance issues and make sure the person you leave your children with will do right by them.
Before my mother passed I left her the rights of my children if something happened to me. Now I had to change everything to my sister because I no in my heart that she would be the next best person. After, my sister WOOOOOOW GEEE!!!! (LOL) GOT TO BE ONE OF MY CLOSET FRIENDS!
If the LORD blesses me to live long enough, I will never have to encounter a situation like this. They'll be old enough to take care of themselves and hopefully make the right decisions what they will get from my policies. So until then, I got ya'll back and way back!!
You really brought up a good topic. Alot of people don't understand the true definition of a god parent. If anything would happen to me I know for sure that my sister would take my childern and me the same. I know my children's father would all love to raise their own child however, I do not want my children to be seperated. So, I already have my wishes to want must be in the best interest of my children if anything (god forbids) happen to me. Not only do you have to see who will be in best interest of your child/ren you all so must be mindful of the insurance issues and make sure the person you leave your children with will do right by them.
Before my mother passed I left her the rights of my children if something happened to me. Now I had to change everything to my sister because I no in my heart that she would be the next best person. After, my sister WOOOOOOW GEEE!!!! (LOL) GOT TO BE ONE OF MY CLOSET FRIENDS!
If the LORD blesses me to live long enough, I will never have to encounter a situation like this. They'll be old enough to take care of themselves and hopefully make the right decisions what they will get from my policies. So until then, I got ya'll back and way back!!
This is a good question. My sister recently took in her 3 year old GodSon and I always say that it couldn't have been me, but then again I have never been faced with such a dilemma. She doesn't make a lot of money, she lives in a two bedroom apartment, but she said that she knew she had to help him because he didn't have a stable home...Mom has been put down, the father he knew was put down, biological father just too trifling, Aunties put down, Grandma just not a good mother period, and the next step would have been a foster home if someone would have reported how he was being taken care of. He came here looking like he was unloved and was so far behind in the learning curve that it was ridiculous. Now he's a happy, thriving little boy. Grant it, it's only been a month and he has a lot of growing to do, but he's developing now. Would I WANT to do it? Not at the stage that I am in right now. Dorothy Height stated "As a black woman, we rarely do what we want to do. We do what we have to do." This would be something that I have to do--especially for my sisters or one of ya'll. But make sure ya'll let me know that ya'll leaving me as next of kin for ya'll kids to go to. Don't shock me with it. LOL
Well, I will say this...I was told this by a lawyer and MI's Friend of the Court, so y'all may want to check into it if you're thinking otherwise...If something happens to the mother, and the father is able (not in jail, etc) to take the child, and has never physically harmed the child, your child will go to the father. Doesn't matter what the mother puts in a will, tells people, etc. The father will get the child if he wants it.
I was irritated with this, and told my mother that she still better go to court and fight for my baby....hopefully he'll get tired of going to court and voluntarily give my baby to her...
And yes, people do look at the Godparent differently in this day and age. It did use to mean that these were your people that you were designating to care for your child in your absence. So even though, it may never come to that, that's how I made my decision on my daughter's Godmom, and that's why I chose Tamara. She was my closest friend, we shared similar beliefs, views, etc., knew and were around the same people (even were related to the same people), and I knew she would raise my baby like her own. I also looked at her age. She wasn't young and barely taking care of herself, nor was she old and barely hanging in there.
What Jay says is true in the eyes of the law, the other parents rights would have to be terminated and/or he/she would have to agree to let the child(ren) go to who was designated in the will. If the other parent wants that child, its pretty much a done deal. That's why you see courts granting grandparents rights for visitation. Or you see in cases, where the woman gave the child up for adoption but never notified the father, the father's rights have not been absolved, and when he comes back, he gets the child.
When I take family law as an elective I'll give you all more specifics...but that won't be for awhile!
Post a Comment