We've all been told a secret before, sometimes there's a precursory statement like, "don't tell anyone" and sometimes nothing is said but you know your not supposed to tell anyone. In either situation, do you get a plus one? Do you get to tell atleast one other person? And if so, does he/she get to tell one other person and so on?
Now, I'm not going to front I've used the plus one theory unlimitedly in both situations, more frequently with the latter because I do believe if someone tells you not to tell someone else then you shouldn't tell. But as I mature, I'm starting to think that using the plus one is not a good idea. Cause if I'm using it, I'm sure others are using it, and I don't want my business out there even if it is told to someone that I may tell anyway or someone I don't really know and I damn sure don't want it told to someone I know but would never tell my business to but because he/she is the person I told BFF that person now knows.
I'll keep it brief and ask you all what you think, should we stop with the plus one? For me, it may be a hard habit to break, so please if you tell me something until I completely kick the habit, say Tam, don't tell anyone else this information or this goes no farther then me and you. Cause I got too many BFF's and my plus one winds up being a plus 4.
Betcha wish you didn't tell me shiit! LOL
5 comments:
Hilarious...yea Mae, I've been a victim to your plus one theory...lol...I'll go to tell Pri something, and she'll say that you already told her last week...lol...but it's never anything that I wouldn't tell Pri, so I'm cool.
We have a tight knit circle, but we still have our BFFs within the clique. Like I'm closer to Keera, Mae, and Tray. But I think that's just the dynamic of how Studio 517 got formed. Keera, Mae and I have always been tight. I knew Pri in school, had classes and was in Poms together. We weren't tight, but always cool. But Pri and Mae were tight, so Pri got pulled in. I got cool w/ Tray after high school b/c of Keera and Sharon. Keera did Tray's nails, and they dated brothers...lol... Tray and Keera lost touch, but me & Tray got closer, so I pulled her in.
The plus one rule only works sometimes though. There are certain things that I've only shared with certain people in the clique. And I hope b/c of the sensitivity of the subject, they knew they didn't get a plus one.:-)
The plus one should also stay w/i the clique. Flat out. I may not care if Mae tells Pri or Tray, but I wouldn't want Boo from down the street being the plus one. Cause that's how stuff turns into mess, and people get hurt. An outsider gets hold of personal information they had no business knowing.
I also don't think you can use the plus one if it involves another in the clique. If I inform Tray about a problem me and Pri are having, Tray shouldn't use her plus one to tell Pri and cause an explosion (intentional or not). Let me handle my issue when I'm ready.
Not all cliques can handle the plus one. Keera and Mae know what happened when I (yea I'll take the fall for it) added others to our clique in high school. It ended up being a big ball of mess w/ people being considered sh#t starters, and people ready to fight.
So from now on out, when I tell something, I'll make an announcement if you don't get a plus one on what I'm saying... ;-)
i understand this theory and well im a victim and the culprit. for the most part im an open book so i really don't care who knows what. my circle is small and close and my business is as much theirs as it is mine. i will say that i have to be mindful of others not wanting me to tell their business. im getting older and don't want to be involved in any mess, so i try to keep my mouth shut and that in itself is a job, lol.
Yeah, my plus one's are normally within our clique and I know that others are going to know eventually so I usually say something to someone within the clique. But if its case sensitive then I don't but its true I generally tell Pri EVERYTHING so not surprised if she's like I knew that cause if you told me then I more than likely told her! LOL Like I said I'm working on it...give a sista sometime.
Oh, I definitly agree that you can't use the plus one w/in the clique on the scenario you gave. That would start way to much mess and all the, Why didn't she just say something to me. I know I don't even feel like hearing that bullshit.
This isn't really a plus one situation, well kind of, but remember when an outsider, who used to be an insider, we all know her as a liar, told Keera that I told her some information that the liar told me? Now, that could have been potentially disastrous but luckily my girl knows me and was like uh, no, Mae would've just said something to me about it. I had to get in the liars shit.
But if your using the plus one theory, use it wisely. And definitly careful about who you bring into the fold.
Mae has been my bestfriend since I was 6 and the others I've known at least half my life so I pretty much know everyone's characteristics. Mae is my sister from another mother and we think alike in many ways. I know if I tell her something there will be a plus one, but I know that it isn't done out of malice. Some stuff is just so good, you gotta share and I'm not mad. LOL Like Jay said, I will call Jay and she will tell me something about Tray or Mae will tell me something about Jay. Or I will call Mae and tell her something about Tray. I think it's just part of human DNA. LOL When I was a child I used to get upset about stuff like this, but now it's pretty much whatever. I mean, my life isn't an open book to the world but there aren't too many things I'm embarrassed about (even the bad stuff). I know that if I decide to tell anyone anything about my life it can be told and to any plus one someone chooses. We're human and we like secrets. LOL I know I used to call my Grandma just to gossip She may not even know the people, but Mama can appreciate some good news about somebody.
On the flipside however, me and Tray have a very special relationship and there are things I tell her that I KNOW she wouldn't repeat and simply because we share a heart on that level. If she decided to tell someone, I would probably be a little hurt but I wouldn't be mad at her because she is human.
Hello Ladies! I recently had this situation. A girl who is not really a friend called to "check on me". I think she was just calling to get some of my business but she ended up telling me hers. I used a brief and simple version of her story in my blog on myspace as a preface to speak about my own story. I used no names. Sure enough here she comes calling me days later. Apparently the entire church reads my blog which would explain the 2200 hits that i have gotten and she was told about my reference to her situtation. She called me without even reading the blog. Although i was apologetic for hurting her in anyway, i think she failed to understand that if someone reported back to you your own story then they knew already!
I say this. DON'T TELL ME SECRETS! Especially if I am NOT your friend. If it is a secret tell me first so that I can kindly decline from listening.
I am a person that has no secrets. I do what I do and I tell on myself. That way people can't hurt you with the unknown.
I am aware that everyone is not as open and some things are brand new and are like an open wound. I will try to be more sensitive in the future but telling the truth about yourself will set you free.
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