Tracy says: For me, the answer depends on what type of relationship wehave. For example, if I were with a man here and he moved away, a largepart of my decision would weigh on what our relationship was like priorto him relocating. What's our current relationship like. Were we in ahappy and fulfilling relationship? Did we get along? How serious werewe? Did we discuss long term (i.e. marriage), do we have the same goals,etc. I wouldn't dare consider it if our relationship/foundation wasrocky to begin with and still was when he left b/c then I'd really haveto check myself on whether its the "lust" I'm going after or him. Whatdo I love about him if he's not treating me right? And if he already hasa history of showing his ass now, darn skippy he's going to continue tobe that way.
Chaprie says: I would. Hell, living life is a risk so why not. I'm notgoing to let something like distance keep me from a man that I see a future with. But I think one thing that has kept me from not losing my mind in recentyears in relationship is that everyone has the right to change theirmind. So I have to know that if I do move with this man, we may or maynot work out and I'd be okay with that. Just move my ass in with Tamaraand start all over again.
Tamara says: Okay, so would I move for a man? Yes. I have even madeplans to before but things just did not work out. But if you really wantto make it work and you love him and you see a future then go for it.The question is for me, would he be willing to do the same. Because whatif you had the bomb job or got a promotion that required you to move orwas going back to school, would he be willing to make those sameconcessions. If not then I probably would not move. The one thing thatwould have to know before I move though is when is the wedding? Causefor me, I'm not moving if there's not going to be a marriage insight.For some women, the moving in is the commitment and that's enough forthem but I don't want to be someone's girlfriend or life companion. Iwant to be someone's wife. So, if all of this is in order then my ass iscalling UHAUL and I'd be out!
5 comments:
Well ladies its me. My answer is somewhat difficult. Considering I'm not just making a big decision for me, but for my childern also. I would love to just get up and move with a man who is willing to be my husband, bestfriend, PROVIDER, and LOVER!! However, considering its not just about me anymore and hasn't been for years(lol)I would have to weigh all my options and do whats in the best interest of my children as well. If the man can hold me and my children down considering, a move would be very drastic! I would defintly have to be married, financally stabled, and have a enormous house awaiting with a white pickett fence. UNDERSTAND ME GIRLZ!!
I feel you 100%! I think its great that you are thinking in terms of what is best for your children and not best for only you.
I totally agree with Keera, obviously not the kids part cuz I haven't got to that yet... but I would have to be married or at least engaged and know for sure he was The One. I wouldn't move if I was in anyway unsure of the man in our relationship. I would have to totally trust him and know that he truly loved me and was loyal. I think it is obvious that he would have a good job and be able to hold down a household and I would always want to do my part.
That is so true Keera! I always say that.....I have a whole other person to consider...not just myself. If it were just me, my thought process would be different. But since its not just about me...I'm have to absolutely sure about my decision and how often can we say we are absolutely sure about anything? Rarely....and with the way men are so dam wishy/washy these days...they act more like b*tches than we do...I'm not sure I'd be quick to move anywhere. But then again....sometimes life is about taking chances.
For me, I was always dead set against 1-a long distance relationship, and 2-moving somewhere for love and no ring. I've recently changed my feelings on this. I too have to consider my child in any decision I make. But other deciding factors will be: Do I like the city/state I would be moving to? Would I want to be there if my relationship doesn't work out? What will my support system be like there? Is that a good move for me professionally? Have we had a stable, loving, good working relationship prior? Is this a good move for my child as well? It's hard to say that I need to have a ring prior to my move, because I believe a couple needs to live together to make sure things would even work out (prior to engagement or marriage). But with my move, I would have to be moving there with us living under the same household. I would be moving with a goal of marriage. Not moving to just casually date.
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