"You had this whole conversation over text?"
I called my best male friend (BMF) to tell him the latest about the guy I had been seeing off and on for two years. This was his only question after hearing me go on and on about my relationship woes. I wanted some sound advice but we couldn't move forward with our conversation until I answered his question.
"Yes, over text."
His response: Hell naw, there is never a good reason to talk over text.
Me: Yes there is. Texting is a popular form of communication you know. And what if he's at work or I'm at work or I'm busy and can't talk at the moment? That's a good reason to text.
Him: If you're busy then call later. There is no reason to text. If you're at work call when you get off. That's what we did back in the day. Ya'll getting out of control. If you're over thirty I don't want to hear shit about texting. We didn't grow up with that shit. Shiit, we just started using email. You can't talk over text. That's stupid. Call someone later. You know better.
Now, I'm usually one to have a bunch of comebacks and arguments to prove my point. I had none. He was right. There was no reason to have an extended conversation over text. I had fallen victim to the, "This is what people do. We're in a technology fueled society. Instant access."
Why was I getting carpal tunnel in my thumbs banging out multiple text messages and bbm's? How come I wasn't just picking up the phone and actually talking? I used to always say: I have the bomb ass phone conversation. Now, I rarely get to show off my conversational skills because I'm too busy texting. And truth be told, I get annoyed by texting!
Annoyance #1: You text me. I call you. You don't answer but text me back and ask what's up.
Annoyance #2: Text Courage. If you wouldn't say it directly to me don't say it over text.
Annoyance #3: Texting at the dinner table. Just because you're not actually having a conversation doesn't mean it's not rude. Get out your phone.
I can admit I get lost in my cell phone at times. I'm definitely guilty of sending a flurry of text messages and having discussions over text message. I do enjoy my group chat with my line sisters on blackberry messenger. I also like to send and receive flirty text in the middle of the day or get a good piece of gossip.
But I also miss a good three-way call too. I miss the late night conversation, the good kind where you lay on your bed with all the lights out, television off and maybe the Quiet Storm playing in the background (those of ya'll that are old enough will remember the Quiet Storm time on the radio).
While I listened to my BMF's advice on how to deal w/the on-again-off-again situation, I thought about how you can't say all that you need to say in a 160 characters or less. How do I know your really laughing? LOL has become a term I use when I don't really have anything to say. But anyone who has had a conversation with me knows I say, "That's funny," when I find something humorous that doesn't warrant a full on belly laugh. You can't convey your excitement, your sadness, your anger, no matter how many different emoticons you use.
In having this conversation with my BMF I realized I needed to get back to the old school me and doing things the way I liked to do them. Not become slave to technology and lazy communication.
I get that texting is convenient. I will not wholly abandon texting but I will no longer have full conversations over text. Especially, those conversations that should incite someone to pick up the phone and call. I will not meet a guy and answer 50-11 questions about my likes, dislikes, and other information about myself over text message. I don't have enough characters to show you even ¼ of me. I can wait for the late night phone call.
As my BMF and I brought our 4 hour conversation to a close, he said, "Now this is how you have a conversation."
Indeed my friend indeed.
3 comments:
This is so hilarious and true...I've had fights, made up, sent thank yous, invitations, love notes, pics (nice & naughty), cuss outs, etc all over text. It's funny, there have been times when I've argued over the phone, but hung up only to immediately send a text. It's become second nature to me. Or maybe I should say first nature. And I do know that text shows no emotion or true intent, yet when I read the msg, you can't convince me "that's not what you meant to say or how you meant to say it".
It's across the board though...I hear ppl say the same thing about email. That we send way to much over email that should be in a verbal conversation as well.
I'm guilty of it all...I'll let this be a reminder to me though..that next time something major goes down, I'll let my voice be heard. Literally. lol (sorry, I couldn't help it)
I hate texting long ass conversations...and I'm guilty of texting and not answering when the person calls only to respond with "wassup" but that's b/c I'm busy.
My boyfriend and I argue about text b/c he's not a "phone person" and he refuses to have long drawn out conversations via text. It better be 10 words or less or he will ignore it until I pick up the phone. Its annoying but he's not a tech person...he doesn't have the type of job where he sits at a desk so he's rarely on a computer. As much as it pains me, I get it. We communicate better b/c of it (we have a lil ways to go with communication, though LOL). And funny thing is, there's time I become a text thug and say stuff to him I know I'd never verbally say LOL so your boy is right, we def need to learn to communicate the "old school way"...
Tra, not that text thug! That is hilarious.
I knew a guy once who would speak in text. I would say something presumably funny and he would say, "L.O.L." Um, seriously?
Misty, same here, I've done all those things over text. I'm guilty of sending snail mail to get my point across or express myself. Which though I think snail mail is much more personal than email but still I like conversation better.
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